Finding My Very Own Tribe

Making friends as an adult is hard man!! Gone are the days of just turning up to day 1 of school or university and making friends with the first person you bump into in the kitchen, school playground – or in my case on the bus to the first club! (love you, Gracie!).

We met on a way to a club on our first freshers night out (this night!) - been friends ever since!

Those days were a lot easier. Everyone was in the same boat, and we still had that innocent energy to make friends, whoever that may be.

As you get older it’s a lot harder to make friends – and by friends I really mean true soul deep meaningful connections with like-minded people. We are around lots of people every day and may have lots of social interactions but finding your tribe can actually be quite tough.

I feel like over my adult life I’ve been so lucky to find my tribe, my soul friends! People who I truly feel belong in my life. People who came into it later…probably from the age of 28 until now. I am so grateful to have a group of friends around me who support me no matter what, lift me up and accept me for who I am. It’s a special place to be that’s for sure!!

My soul friends I met through work

Some of these friends I met through work, and we’ve created a friendship so deep that now I can’t see my life without them. Talking every day, sharing Wednesday Waffles, voice notes and Tik Toks, becoming bridesmaids and helping with first born babies. These are my people I know we will grow old together!!

And some of these friends I have met since starting my new life in the Wellness world. These are people that just seem to “fit”. We were talking the other day about Soul friends and family and these beautiful women were just supposed to find me and be in my life- I know it!

But you know what, most of these friendships didn’t happen overnight. I had to try. I had to make a conscious effort to embrace my younger innocent self and essentially put myself out there, be vulnerable – maybe share too much information – depends on who you ask (haha) and then see what happens from there. I had to be ok sharing sentiments like “I’m lonely” and “I want to make friends”. I embraced feeling a little awkward at times, worrying about what to say, will the conversation have a lull or even overcoming feelings of self-consciousness. Because by doing this I have found my tribe.

The universe delivers my friends so if you put it out there and act then it will come 

When I started my business, I realised I had no friends in the area. Literally none!! I’d always worked closer to London and I grew up / went to Uni in very different places, so I didn’t know anybody in the Wantage area. When my partner was at work and I now worked from home it meant (and means still) that I’m alone a lot!!

Now I quite like my alone time, but I also love being around people, so I found this hard and lonely to begin with. I started to think about how I could connect with likeminded people in my area. I looked at local clubs and community groups I could join, networking opportunities and all sorts, but how I found my local tribe is when I posted on my own Instagram. I recorded a story where I was talking to camera and just explaining how lonely it was being self-employed and that it was something I was struggling to get used to.

One of my lovely friends reached out to me instantly and offered an invitation. We went for a walk, and she introduced me to some more of her circle. Over time we’ve become amazing friends and 4 of us have even run our first Wellness Day together with the blossoming of a corporate wellness business on the cards too.

My soul friends I've met through Wellness

So, with a little bit of vulnerability, openness and heart and you never know who might be there to receive it!

I’m no expert, but I wanted to share with you my tips around making new friends as an adult. They take courage and kindness and a little bit of hope!  

• It’s ok to be vulnerable- when meeting new people, it can feel embarrassing to “go there”, but actually sharing some of your anxieties, insecurities and even trauma can be helpful in helping forge deeper connections with people from the offset. It also helps you both determine if you have the meaningful things in common like values and interests and then you can decide if it’s a friendship you want to explore or not

  
  

• Make the first move- be the one to invite somebody new for a tea or open a new conversation AND be ok if the invitation isn’t reciprocated. Not everyone is looking for new friends and that’s ok too. Be ok when this happens- it just wasn’t your time

  
  

• Put yourself out there – don’t be afraid to join a yoga group, singing choir or something else you may already have an interest in. Go a couple of times and then start striking up conversations with people. It’s very likely that as you are in the same groups then you potentially like the same things.

  
  

• Set your boundaries – it’s ok to make friends but also not need to be best friends. Some people come into our lives forever and some for a short time. That’s ok. When making friends it’s important to set your boundaries so you don’t end up leading people on or saying yes to things you don’t want to do.

Let me know your experiences of making friends as a grown up

Love, Tash xx