Finding my own Freedom

In my last blog https://www.flowingflamingo.com/post/introducing-freedom-this-august I talked about what Freedom means to me.

Freedom to just be myself. Freedom to live the life I want to live. Freedom to carve out my own schedule and projects, manage my own boundaries. Freedom to have fun and live to my own values.

To find my own freedom I had one hell of a journey. Here is a just a snippet for you. 

I was raised in the classic British education system.

So simply put, you went to school, worked your bum off to get good GCSE results and then A-Level results. You went to Uni – got a good degree (2.1 of course otherwise you’ve basically failed) and then go on to get a good job….usually a corporate job as those were seen as the height of success.

With boundaries you can find those fun times too!

When at work, that culture continues…. long days, pushing against your own values and boundaries to get things done, a right & wrong way of doing something, success means linear progression, it’s a fight to the top, competition, competition, competition….. you get what I’m saying.

All those things were no fault of mine, my parents, my friends or my colleagues. It’s just the culture that I grew up in.

You see why it took me so long to find my freedom?!

The first step was to work on my own personal values.

Back in 2021/2022 I realised I had become so absorbed in succeeding at work and my role that I had lost who I was outside of that environment. My self-confidence was low and I was starting to see impact in my relationships. So, I went to see a therapist (amongst other things like finding exercise and new hobbies again). My therapist helped me to understand my own personal values. Values I always had but couldn’t articulate. Values that were intrinsically so important to me that when I felt like they were challenged I became angry and frustrated (which was happening more and more often). My therapist helped me to articulate these and once I was clear on them, I was able to start working towards my own personal freedom.

My values are empowerment, freedom, fun, connection and curiosity/development.

Understanding these were a true game changer! I was able to introduce new hobbies into my life that ticked these boxes – like pole fitness. I was able to introduce boundaries into my work life, such as eating lunch in the kitchen at work with my colleagues to build my connection. I was also able to create projects for myself that felt fun and challenged my curiosity. Having clear values empowered me to make choices that were more aligned to who I truly am.

This was step one. Understanding my values and letting go of limitations I’d set myself in the workplace.

The second step was a biggy. Letting go of what success means to me.

As I’ve mentioned I worked my bum off to get good results and have a linear progression at school, uni and work. It was programmed into me. BUT was I happy? No. So that can’t be success, right?

All I ever wanted was to be happy in my life. I get that’s not realistic day to day- but overall contentment is! So, I re-evaluated. What was a successful life to me?

I know it sounds morbid, but I actually asked myself the question. “If I was on my deathbed and I was looking back over my life, what would I consider to be a successful life? “

The answer was clear – happiness, freedom, a life of fun, a life of connection… essentially a life where I live my values to their fullest. It was NOT a big corporate career or to be the CEO of a company.

By the way- if that's happiness for you then 'go you!' yay!

For me, no. I started to let it go. Let go of the need for promotion and a job title. Let go of the perceived clout I thought working on a big brand gave me. I just let it go.

It was hard. But once I started working as a Yoga Teacher in the non-corporate world, I realised very quickly…most people don’t care about job titles or the brands you worked on. They might be interested, but they don’t see it as a flex. Promise. They see who you are, your true self as the flex, because that’s what makes you interesting.

That’s success. That’s freedom. Just being you.

Phew that was a long one guys, thanks for sticking with me. Let me know what your thoughts are on success, values and freedom.

Love, Tash xx