Embracing Our Joy this July

Joy can come in many shapes and sizes… big joys, little joys, loud joy, quiet joy, joy you create or joy you find.

That’s what is so magical about joy- you can find it anywhere at any time. You just need to see it.

Over the years I’ve found my joy escaping me when I’m moving quickly, when I’m so busy I can’t see past the next thing on my to do list OR when I’m living in the future and anxiety has taken hold. In this modern life of ours we are all moving at 100 miles an hour, focussing on being better, succeeding (whatever that means), caring what other people think of us, following societies rules i.e. get a job, get married, have kids etc etc etc. Right?!  

We stop being in the present, we stop noticing what’s happening around us. We stop noticing the joy.

Think back to when you were a kid – maybe 5 years old. You had nothing to worry about other than getting to play and explore the world. Your mind was quiet apart from what was happening right now in the moment and how that was feeling. You were experiencing life in the now and approaching it with wonder, curiosity and natural joy.

the simple joy of little Tash doing housework haha!!

Let’s help our adult selves connect back to our inner child. One of the ways we can do that is by noticing.

Noticing the glimmers of joy that are around us daily. The birds singing, the cuddles from your baby, the dinner you made, your partner telling you they love you.

I have a little exercise at the end of this blog to help you do just that.

This month at Flowing Flamingo we are going to be embracing that quieter, daily joy. Exploring it through two angles.

The first is through Santosha – contentment. The idea that through presence you can create inner harmony and peace within yourself. If you can find this then you are open to joy.

The second is a new idea I’ve recently become aware of and I’m still learning about – it’s called Lila. Lila is often translated as divine play. One-way people interpret it is as an invitation to engage with life with a little more curiosity and a little less control. I love this interpretation – almost a sense of through just being openly curious about the world and our experiences, by giving over to them a little and being playful we can come to joy.

Finding quiet joy in my food

 So, in classes this month we will be exploring joy through presence, inner harmony and a little bit of play.

Personal story

Being a type A girly slowing down has always been super hard for me, so being present in the moment was a tall order. However, with a positive glass half full temperament I have always been able to naturally find the silver lining in moments.

This became more and more challenging as my corporate career progressed. From the age of 22-33 I slowly started to change. I was able to continue finding the silver linings at work because that’s what people expected of me… it was my “brand”… but then I struggled like hell to keep the positivity going at home. I was able to scrape some together for my step kids, my family and friends… but there was very little left for my partner and I.

I gave so much energy outside of the home I had nothing left for inside. I was at capacity and burnt out. I coped by being mute at home and wanting to be alone a lot. I started doing puzzles, read all the time and was drinking wine most nights. Now there is nothing wrong with any of these things, but I was using them to escape my life.

during covid - struggling to find my joy

 In essence I could create a front of joy, but inside I didn’t really feel it. Not to my core.

And it didn’t feel right. I was a naturally joyful person. During covid I hit my all time low… I remember going for a walk around our estate and feeling like I just wanted to escape. I felt so trapped. I loved my partner and my family, but I don’t think I loved myself anymore. I’d lost who I was.

It was time to make a change and build back my joy. I started therapy, hired a PT, started Yoga again. Made some brave choices at work – one of which included standing up to my boss and taking control of my career path more wholly.

Slowly I started to reconnect with who I was. My values and what I want from life. I figured out my purpose, got my health back on track, developed some new hobbies, learnt to play and created more boundaries at work.

I was able to introduce joy again by creating rest in my day (i.e. lunchbreaks and finishing work on time!), by prioritising my hobbies (Monday evening was pole class and that was a non-negotiable), prioritising my health (I became that person who brought lunch to work each day), and prioritising my values (I stood up for myself and others in the workplace, finding my voice).

Over time I learnt to slow down, using Yoga and mindfulness techniques to help me calm my nervous system and become present. One time, I sat in my car after work and just breathed… it helped if only a little. I also supported a colleague once when she was having a panic attack using some of those skills.

It was not an easy ride, and it took time, but I did it and now I am able to find joy and presence in my day every day. Notice the glimmers and enjoy the gratitude’s. No compromise.  

Wellness Activity

We are going to slow it down and notice.

I invite you, wherever you are to stop.

Exactly as you are. Notice your feet on the ground.

The weight of them, the feel of them, the pressure between your feet and the floor.

Place your hands on your belly.

Take three deep breaths. In through your nose and out through your mouth.

Feel your belly push against your hands as you breath in.

Then notice.

Notice what you hear

What you feel on your skin

What you smell

What you can touch

What you can see

Name one thing for each

Now you are present.

Now you can start to notice joy.

If you want to go one step further, you can finish off by reflecting on your day and naming a gratitude. Our gratitude is amazing at helping us notice those glimmers even if we can’t in the moment.

Give it a go and let me know how you get on.

Love, Tash xx